Okay...so I have an inner delimma goin on. Where/how to give birth to my first baby. My heart is pulling me like the moon pulls the tides. It says calmly and lovingly, "bring your baby into your world...naturally...with no fear...no drugs...no rules...just let your body do what it is innately capable of doing. And do this in your most comfortable loving enviornment." The problem with this...my insurance doesn't cover midwives, nor birthing centers, nor home birth...it only covers an OB/GYN in a giant hospital. While this approach seems practical, if not comforting for the majority of the women and families in our country, I find the idea disturbing, stressful, and honestly...depressing. The idea of so many people I don't know around for something so personal, and so special makes my skin crawl. The idea anyone telling me where, when, and how to bring my 1st born child into this world makes me angry...as if they are taking something from me...like they are removing me, the mother, from this beautiful and life altering experience. I know that it may not make sense to some...but Im just having a hard time getting past all this. Childbirth is natural. It is not medical in most cases, and in my opinion should be treated as such. It may be my hormones or simple fears that are causing this anxiety....who knows. But I do realize that the ultimate goal of all this is a healthy, happy baby. I just, more than anything, want to be present during the most important day of my life. So I will continue my studies. I will continue to read and watch as much on the subject of homebirth, waterbirth, natural birth, etc as I can. And I will above all trust my heart, my body, and womanly intuition to make the best decision for me and my ohana.
Here's to all the other mamas to be that are learning as they go...and seeking empowerment, and the birth they choose.
=)
Have you looked for a doctor that will respect your wishes? You don't have to have drugs during labor. If I were you I would interview numerous doctors and tell them what your plan and wish is. Maybe you can find one to get on board with you. I guarantee you other women have been in this position so there have to be doctors out there with experience with this. You may not be able to get away from the hospital aspect of it. But just think of that as having people there for you in case you need them. I'd much rather have them close by and not need them then need them an not have them close enough. Keep looking though, don't just settle. Wishing you and baby a happy journey!
ReplyDeleteHi!
ReplyDeleteI have a doctor who "says" she shares my philosophy on natural birth...so we will see. Thank you so much for your encouragement and words of wisdom =)